embracing the joy of missing out
/rōot/ awakenings post # 5 - on connection, autonomy, and radical self-care
The holidays are often described as “the most wonderful time of the year”—a season for joy, togetherness, and celebration. But this year, the contrast between the expectation of holiday cheer and the realities many of us are living and witnessing feels sharper than ever. Values like love, gratitude, generosity, peace, and goodwill toward all ring hollow when juxtaposed with the dehumanization and harm that have become alarmingly normalized in our culture. For women, trans people, immigrants, and so many others grappling with fear, uncertainty, and threats to their basic rights, safety, and humanity, the hypocrisy of cheerful platitudes feels especially heavy, creating a dissonance that’s hard to ignore.
Perhaps it’s this dissonance—or maybe the full weight of anxiety and grief about what we’ve lost and what we’re about encounter in the new year—that has led me to step back this year. I’ve found myself saying “no” to more invitations, choosing instead to cocoon at home—cozy under a blanket, reading, watching movies, and writing. As someone who has always been social, especially during this time of year, this shift feels unfamiliar. Connection is a cornerstone of humanity, and I’ve always loved the energy of the holiday season, from Navratri and Diwali through Christmas and New Year’s. But lately, being with people and pretending everything is fine feels particularly exhausting. So, I’ve been honoring my body, mind, and spirit by avoiding spaces where I might feel compelled to defend my humanity or explain my values to those increasingly unwilling to listen, choosing instead to embrace the joy of missing out (JOMO).
JOMO is a radical act of self-care rooted in choosing to nurture ourselves rather than stretching ourselves thin by attending gatherings out of obligation or yielding to the inner voice that says, “I should.” For me, JOMO has been about intentionally choosing who I spend time with and how I spend it. Small moments—sharing a meal with one or two trusted friends, engaging in long, heartfelt conversations, or taking quiet walks in nature and breathing in the brisk, cold air—have felt more nourishing than any crowded room. It’s a way to stay connected to my values and focus on what truly matters, even while holding space for the reality that things are far from okay. JOMO allows me to prioritize my well-being without ignoring the pain and suffering in the world. It helps me remember that caring for myself enables me to show up more fully when it matters most.
In nature, trees offer a beautiful metaphor for balance between connection and autonomy. While trees grow in groves, their roots intertwined for support, each tree also stands on its own, drawing strength from the soil beneath it. Similarly, we need both connection and the autonomy to decide what that connection looks like. There is beauty in coming together, but there is also strength in knowing when to step back and nurture ourselves.
The holidays may be a time for gathering, but gathering should nurture our well-being, not deplete it. Embracing the joy of missing out can be a powerful act of self-care—a way to step back from obligations that drain us and focus instead on what truly nourishes our spirit. Choosing solitude or smaller, more intentional connections isn’t about rejecting family or tradition; it’s about honoring our needs and creating space for meaningful, authentic moments.
a compassionate reframe
It’s okay if the holidays don’t feel joyful this year. Acknowledging that dissonance isn’t something to feel bad about—it’s a reminder of our humanity and our ability to feel deeply, even in the face of pain and uncertainty. Giving ourselves permission to step back from obligations and embrace the joy of missing out isn’t selfish—it’s self-preservation. By honoring our need for rest and reflection, we’re not rejecting the season’s spirit of connection; we’re choosing to experience it in a way that nurtures our well-being, aligns with our values, and creates space for renewal and authentic connection when the time is right.
reflection prompts
As you move through the rest of this holiday season, I invite you to reflect on the following:
- How do holiday gatherings affect you—do they leave you feeling energized, drained, or somewhere in between? Has this changed over time, or does this year feel different?
- What traditions or obligations have you been holding onto that no longer resonate with your needs or values?
- How can you embrace the joy of missing out (JOMO) as an intentional act of self-care? What might stepping back from obligations or large gatherings allow you to focus on instead?
- How might you create moments of connection—whether with others or yourself—that truly nourish your well-being?
one final thought
In a season often dedicated to togetherness, it’s okay to rewrite the script and embrace the joy of missing out (JOMO) as a powerful reminder that we don’t need to stretch ourselves thin to honor the spirit of connection. Just as nature balances connection and autonomy, so can we. By intentionally choosing what nourishes us—whether it’s solitude or smaller, more meaningful gatherings—we create space for renewal, authenticity, and joy on our own terms. And to be clear—even in the midst of sadness and fear—it’s not only okay to experience moments of joy; it’s a vital act of self-care that to seek them out and embrace them without regret.
May this season bring you moments of quiet peace, meaningful connection, and the joy that comes with missing out.
In solidarity + gratitude,
in case you missed them . . .
Dimple Dhabalia
Dimple Dhabalia
